A-Z FACT FILE: C... D...

Dear reader, I’ve decided to intersperse my fiction writing (short stories, snapshot narratives and poetry) posts with some facts about myself... my way of inviting you to get to know me better ‘up close and personal’ (lol). My remit... three key words for each letter of the alphabet... which lead to three brief facts about myself... and, I hope to cover two letters of the alphabet per post (whenever I do post). Hmmmmm - this should be an interesting journey. It’s so easy to hide behind the liquid interface of cyberspace however in these A-Z Fact Files about yours truly but I do intend to keep it ‘real and honest’! Please feel free to share your thoughts or ask any questions. [For earlier A-Z Fact Files please scroll down... Thank you!]

C: Chinyere. Christian. Cats.
Chinyere... is my middle name. It means ‘God’s Gift’. In the Igbo language, Chi = God and Nyere = to give. Apparently when I was born my father wanted me to have the longer version of this name which is ‘Nkechinyere’ (which literally means 'what God gave') however my mother insisted that she wanted a shorter version so it would have to be ‘Nkechi’ or ‘Chinyere’ – both very popular Nigerian names in Igbo culture (as popular as Catherine used to be once upon a time). Because of history (the missionary movement and the colonisation of Nigeria) often Igbo names are Christian in meaning. Christian... in a generation where a faith stance comes across as extreme and overzealous, bordering on being ‘not politically correct’, I confess that I am a Christian. I was raised an Anglican in a nominal way (attending Christian schools, church, Sunday schools, etc.) – but it wasn’t until I was 21 when I decided to take my Christian faith seriously and made that commitment. It hasn’t been an easy path with regards to the practical outworking of my Christian faith in my personal and public life. Many times it has felt as if my journey with God rather than being smooth has been full of twists and turns – ‘two steps forward and ten steps back’ – as the old saying goes. However, the older I get the more important my relationship with God becomes. So in spite of the times when I struggle with huge doubts (over what I believe and why I believe what I believe) I know that truly without God I would be nowhere. Simone de Beauvoir, an author and philosopher I admire in many respects, once said: ‘God has ceased to exist for me’ but in my experience ‘I cannot exist without God’. So in short – being a Christian (in terms of having that personal relationship with God) works for me. Cats... I’m more of a cat lover than a dog lover. I do like dogs and have looked after them for friends in the past but they are such hard work. I love the independent spirit and mantra that cats espouse: ‘spruce, sleep, scoff...’ (lol)!

D: Dad. Depression. D-grade.
Dad... or should I say ‘father’ as ours is a rather awkward, formal and distant relationship. I have never had a warm relationship with my father. Aside from the fact that my father travelled a lot with his work with the UN he can be a hard man by nature. He ruled his roost (our home) with harsh words and discipline not dissimilar to an Idi Amin style dictatorship (no exaggeration). The sum total of our relationship (or non relationship as the case may be) – is that ‘he barks and I bite’. Inherently I suppose I do love my father and I’ve always yearned for a closer bond with him but years of unforgiveness and bitterness due to perceived wrongs on both sides have done nothing to bring us closer as 'father and daughter'. Hence now even as an adult I feel unable to relate to him as ‘dad’. Oh - how hard it is to claw back lost time and relationship. Depression... I struggle with periodic bouts of deep depression in my life. Depression (and, indeed mental health issues) runs in my extended family although I don’t know the specifics as the African culture is still very hush-hush on such matters. How I cope with my depression? Not very well... and often with the support of: friends, meds and/or counselling. At the moment, I’m basking in a ‘good spell’ – HUZZAH!!! D-grade... yep – I got this in my Chemistry ‘O’ level. In case you are trying to work out my age (lol), I was among the last year group that did the dreaded ‘O’ levels at a UK secondary school. I took 9 in total and failed Chemistry twice (with a ‘D-grade’) much to the disgust and disappointment of my parents who had been keen for me to pursue medicine or pharmacy at university. They had great dreams for me as a doctor (chuckle). To say the least, I wasn’t a strong scientist in school and I remember always getting the experiments wrong (accidents with the Bunsen burner, test tube leakages and breakages, if anything blew up I was right at the centre of it all... hee hee!) and man did I panic when it came to all the equations in Physics. The only science subject I did alright in was Biology. Incidentally, at that level, my strongest subject was Religious Studies. My weakest was Maths – even though I scraped a ‘C’ in it – don’t ask me how on earth I managed it! p.s. In those days, anything below a ‘C’ was considered a fail at worst, or at best something to be ashamed of... unlike the perspective of results today where a ‘D-E-F’ grades are considered passes at GCSE levels! In many ways - the world has really changed... (lol)...