Wednesday, 9 July 2008

Fat cat - NOT!

Why is no one ever tells you (during the journey from childhood into adulthood) how tough it is to earn a living when you’re all grown up? An impossible concept to get to grips with when you’re being raised in the relative opulence of U.N. wealth. From international schools, to boarding schools, to trips in Europe and Africa, and spending liquid money (from dad’s earnings) – it’s a real shock to the system when one realises (as I have) that the proverbial ‘silver spoon’ has long slipped into the descending echelons of simply hovering above one’s financial comfort zone. Now in adulthood and fast approaching middle age, I feel as if I am constantly ‘chasing my tail’ like a gerbil on a Ferris-wheel, in my relentless effort to stay afloat financially. Something in my mind tells me, that if I was ever going to ‘make it’ and make a significant mark in my personal life, in terms of doing more than survive financially, I would have done so already. Almost 40 (well, 37 this year to be precise), I’m still counting the pennies. Today, once again, I gritted my teeth at the post office and asked to know the balance of my current bank account. The three measly figures on the thin strip of paper confirmed the worst – as I noted, that on the 9th of the month (today), my account balance is where it should be on the 19th or 20th of the month (well, this would have been the case in the first quarter of this year). Don’t ask me what’s happened, because I just don’t know! Actually, I do know. The state of affairs of my bank balance is due to several unexpected expenses this month, such as, the breaking my Jai Kudo glasses last week (I sat on it). I’ve had them for eight years, so – long overdue for a change, but I really would have hung on to them a while longer; if only to hang on to my pennies. Even though my prescription has since changed (getting worse as the years tick on), but the bottom line is that I could still see with those glasses. So this week I had to fork out on another pair of glasses; a cheaper option, mind – albeit still a designer pair (since I certainly couldn’t afford another Jai Kudo in the current economic slump that I find myself in!) In addition to this, there’s all the expenditure tied to my impending relocation to Australia. Under the deluge of cost, after cost, after cost, my bank balance is stretched to the limit – reading comfortably in the ‘amber’ zone in the last two months, and almost toppling into the ‘red’ zone this month. Hmmmm... I may have to dip into my meagre savings this month. Definitely, the ongoing battle with my finances is making me look forward to the move from ‘independent career woman’ (note, that I have not said ‘successful independent career woman’) to becoming a ‘wife that’s looked after, and who chooses to be looked after by her husband – a lady of leisure, so to speak’. So much for any youthful fancies I might have had in the past: that of a feminist approach to life. It’s got to a point in my life where all such fanciful notions are thrown out of the window, if not completely stomped on, and buried in the ground.

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